My son was born nearly 5 weeks ago via emergency c-section. While I did take about a week completely off from work, about 8 days after Brody was born I was reviewing email and fielding phone calls from home in between bottles and diapers. I never expected to have a maternity leave in the true sense of the term. I actually think having work to do and questions to answer helped not only my physical recovery, but helped us get into a routine.
Brody has been to my office twice now - one time to do a couple of hours of work and once to pick up some work and meet all of my co-workers. He seemed to enjoy himself; okay, so he slept the entire time, but that was enjoyment!
Today when I stopped in the office it was to pick up supplies for my newly-set-up home office. That's right, a home office. I have the incredible luxury that I can do about 90% of my job remotely from home. Added to that, I have great bosses who have encouraged me to work from home and come into the office between 10 and 16 hours a week once I'm ready. Well, I'm ready to get back to work.
Tomorrow I start working full-time again - from home. It will be another couple of weeks before I'm spending a day or two in the office each week. Brody and I need some time to settle into this new routine.
I realize that my situation is a unique and priceless one; I get to keep doing what I love for a living, but also watch my baby grow up. While we can measure the $1000 a month we're saving in childcare costs, the experience of being home with Brody every day is far more priceless to us.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Nurture vs. Nature
I truly am amazed by my son each and every day, and it astonishes me to realize he is 4 weeks old today. Sometimes it feels like we just brought him home from the hospital.
The most fascinating thing to me over these weeks has been to look at him every day and try and figure out who he is, who he looks like, who he acts like, and who he might be one day. Why is this fascinating to me? At 4 weeks old, there are specific lessons that my son has learned. He's refining his motor skills, discovering his hands and feet, strengthening his muscles and finding his voice. We're helping to teach him these things and encouraging him to develop these skills.
However, there are a lot of things we've seen in him that we haven't taught him. The faces he makes while he's sleeping. The way he stretches when he's waking up. The way he fights falling asleep as if he is going to miss something. His stubbornness and insistence on doing more than we'd expect, and doing for himself. These things, while part of who he is, are also parts of my husband and I. The faces he makes are the mirror image of his daddy. He couldn't act more like me when he's waking up if he tried. His desire to stay awake is all me. And his stubbornness, well both daddy and I are guilty of that trait. It's amazing that these traits and manerisms are just inate in Brody. It's amazing that at 4 weeks he's already demonstrated so clearly to me that there truly are things that are just part of nature and who we are as people.
While my husband and I will nurture him and hope and pray that he becomes a loving, wonderful, caring boy, and will do everything in our power to help him along the way... there are so many things that are a part of him because they are a part of us. Just as he has Tony's forehead and face, and my nose and eyes, he has so many other parts of us too. Truly amazing and miraculous.
The most fascinating thing to me over these weeks has been to look at him every day and try and figure out who he is, who he looks like, who he acts like, and who he might be one day. Why is this fascinating to me? At 4 weeks old, there are specific lessons that my son has learned. He's refining his motor skills, discovering his hands and feet, strengthening his muscles and finding his voice. We're helping to teach him these things and encouraging him to develop these skills.
However, there are a lot of things we've seen in him that we haven't taught him. The faces he makes while he's sleeping. The way he stretches when he's waking up. The way he fights falling asleep as if he is going to miss something. His stubbornness and insistence on doing more than we'd expect, and doing for himself. These things, while part of who he is, are also parts of my husband and I. The faces he makes are the mirror image of his daddy. He couldn't act more like me when he's waking up if he tried. His desire to stay awake is all me. And his stubbornness, well both daddy and I are guilty of that trait. It's amazing that these traits and manerisms are just inate in Brody. It's amazing that at 4 weeks he's already demonstrated so clearly to me that there truly are things that are just part of nature and who we are as people.
While my husband and I will nurture him and hope and pray that he becomes a loving, wonderful, caring boy, and will do everything in our power to help him along the way... there are so many things that are a part of him because they are a part of us. Just as he has Tony's forehead and face, and my nose and eyes, he has so many other parts of us too. Truly amazing and miraculous.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Negotiating with a 3.5 week old baby... what the??
I've been very lucky; Brody has been on a pretty good schedule all along. However, in the last week we've changed his formula twice - once because it wasn't agreeing with him and a second time because the replacement formula was discontinued, but the local store didn't feel the need to remove it from their shelves. We've had a couple of days since those switches of grumpiness, gassiness and what I fondly call "crab-apple" behavior. All of which is completely understandable of course. Fortunately, despite being a bit of a crab-apple, Brody has stayed on schedule the entire time... Until today!
Today was our first day with daddy back at work, so last night I tried to let him sleep. Apparently Brody decided that today was also going to be his first day of hardly sleeping (I thought all newborns loved to sleep and slept constantly - clearly that is a myth). He was great during the morning - he entertained himself while I got some work done.
Right after Brody's mid-day meal of formula, I decided, okay he's ready for a nap, I'll run some errands while he snoozes in his bucket and stroller (he's great shopping company I've discovered; he never tells me something is too expensive or we don't need it like his daddy sometimes does...) Great idea. Apparently though the lack of sleep for the entire morning, continued with just a short snooze after lunch, and then perpetuated into Brody deciding he needed to eat every 2 hours for the rest of the afternoon. This was not in the plan for the day.
You see, I'm a planner. I'm a need-to-know kind of girl. Everyone had warned me that I was going to have to get over that real quick with a new baby at home. Yeah, I figured that out today.
So, after Brody letting me know very clearly at 1:45pm and 3:45 pm that he was a very hungry little boy, despite having eaten 3 oz during the prior feeding just 2 hours earlier, I somehow found myself negotiating with my 3.5 week old. Yes, you read that right; I tried negotiating with him. Clearly it was lack of sleep at its best. I said to him, out loud, "okay, mommy will happily feed you again even though you just ate 2 hours ago, but can you do me a favor? Can you eat at least 3 oz for me, and try to have it keep your tummy happy for 3 hours this time?" And then, this is the worst part, I took his tiny little hand and shook it. That's right. The exhaustion has clearly taken over my rational brain.
I told my dad a while later about this little business deal I tried to strike. I know that he was making that motion with his hand, as if to say, wow, my daughter has clearly lost it. But he humored me and said something about yeah, let me know how that works out for you...
The shocking part... my son did go at least 3 hours til his next meal. In fact, he went 4 hours. He's such a great little man! Do I ever expect him to agree to or honor a sleep-deprived negotiation again, nope. But I really appreciated it today.
Today was our first day with daddy back at work, so last night I tried to let him sleep. Apparently Brody decided that today was also going to be his first day of hardly sleeping (I thought all newborns loved to sleep and slept constantly - clearly that is a myth). He was great during the morning - he entertained himself while I got some work done.
Right after Brody's mid-day meal of formula, I decided, okay he's ready for a nap, I'll run some errands while he snoozes in his bucket and stroller (he's great shopping company I've discovered; he never tells me something is too expensive or we don't need it like his daddy sometimes does...) Great idea. Apparently though the lack of sleep for the entire morning, continued with just a short snooze after lunch, and then perpetuated into Brody deciding he needed to eat every 2 hours for the rest of the afternoon. This was not in the plan for the day.
You see, I'm a planner. I'm a need-to-know kind of girl. Everyone had warned me that I was going to have to get over that real quick with a new baby at home. Yeah, I figured that out today.
So, after Brody letting me know very clearly at 1:45pm and 3:45 pm that he was a very hungry little boy, despite having eaten 3 oz during the prior feeding just 2 hours earlier, I somehow found myself negotiating with my 3.5 week old. Yes, you read that right; I tried negotiating with him. Clearly it was lack of sleep at its best. I said to him, out loud, "okay, mommy will happily feed you again even though you just ate 2 hours ago, but can you do me a favor? Can you eat at least 3 oz for me, and try to have it keep your tummy happy for 3 hours this time?" And then, this is the worst part, I took his tiny little hand and shook it. That's right. The exhaustion has clearly taken over my rational brain.
I told my dad a while later about this little business deal I tried to strike. I know that he was making that motion with his hand, as if to say, wow, my daughter has clearly lost it. But he humored me and said something about yeah, let me know how that works out for you...
The shocking part... my son did go at least 3 hours til his next meal. In fact, he went 4 hours. He's such a great little man! Do I ever expect him to agree to or honor a sleep-deprived negotiation again, nope. But I really appreciated it today.
Welcome to my blog...
My husband Tony has been writing a fantastic blog for well over a year now. He started the blog when he started his life-changing weight loss journey last year. In that time our lives have changed tremendously; he's lost more than 200 lbs and maintained his weight, we decided to have a child and just over 3 weeks ago our amazing son Brody was born.
I have to admit I've been a little jealous during the past year that Tony had an amazing outlet for what he was going through. He had an entire community supporting him in his journey.
Well, as I settle into motherhood and try to balance being a mom, wife, friend and a full-time job, I realized I perhaps needed a similar outlet. Let's be honest, being a mother is a really hard job - probably the hardest job I've ever had, and I've had some doozies. But the last 3+ weeks have also been the most amazing and rewarding time of my life. Life sure has gotten more interesting... I am fascinated by my son. I am amazed at everything he does. I've also gotten thrown a few times by the things that weren't in my pregnancy books, aren't in my baby books, the pediatrician didn't tell me, or some of my working-mom friends either didn't feel comfortable enough to share or had blocked out due to pure exhaustion. So, this is my attempt to maintain my sanity during this amazing and exhausting time, and to perhaps help another new mom like me...
I have to admit I've been a little jealous during the past year that Tony had an amazing outlet for what he was going through. He had an entire community supporting him in his journey.
Well, as I settle into motherhood and try to balance being a mom, wife, friend and a full-time job, I realized I perhaps needed a similar outlet. Let's be honest, being a mother is a really hard job - probably the hardest job I've ever had, and I've had some doozies. But the last 3+ weeks have also been the most amazing and rewarding time of my life. Life sure has gotten more interesting... I am fascinated by my son. I am amazed at everything he does. I've also gotten thrown a few times by the things that weren't in my pregnancy books, aren't in my baby books, the pediatrician didn't tell me, or some of my working-mom friends either didn't feel comfortable enough to share or had blocked out due to pure exhaustion. So, this is my attempt to maintain my sanity during this amazing and exhausting time, and to perhaps help another new mom like me...
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